Top 5 Friday: The Weirdest Games Ever

I’ll be honest, in my quest to find weird games, I found a lot more than 5.  The problem is, a lot of what is deemed “weird” is really just offensive.  If you’re looking for a JFK assassination simulator, it’s out there.  Rape simulators, yup, school shooting simulators, check.  I’m going to skip those for now, but perhaps we’ll do a top 5 most offensive games some other time.  So these games are my picks for games that are just straight up odd.  I also tried to factor in popularity as part of what makes these games weird is just how many people actually played them.

5.  Revolution X (Arcade)

If you frequented movie theaters or video arcades in the 90’s, there’s a good chance that you’re familiar with the game Revolution X.  If not, let me give you a one phrase refresher; it’s the shooter that stars the band Aerosmith.  Ah yes, now you remember.  So there’s a good chance you saw this game, and like me, there is a good chance that you never paid much attention to what it’s actually about.  The story goes something like this…  In an alternate reality, the military takes over the world and decides to kidnap Aerosmith and of course you must rescue them.  On some level, given 90’s culture, I can see how something like this could have been thought up, but for it become not just an actual game, but one that requires an expensive arcade cabinet to play is just beyond me.

4.  Boogerman (Genesis)

I understand that in the 90’s games were mostly for immature kids.  To be honest, Boogerman was right in my wheelhouse for that time period.  A super-hero who’s powers included farting and tossing snot seemed like the funniest, most awesome idea ever.  Looking back though, this game is just so strange.  I can’t help but imagine a team of people working around the clock to crank out Boogerman.  That alone is reason enough for this game to be on the list.  What really sets the game apart in terms of weirdness though, is the fact that this game is actually kind of beautiful.  The animation is really great throughout the game, evidence that someone did truly work hard on it.

3.  Super Table Flip (Arcade)

Of all the games on this list, this is the only one that I’d actually be excited to play.  If you’ve ever felt frustrated then this game might just be for you.  There several scenarios, ranging from an annoying family to an annoying coworker.  In all of the scenarios you, as the player, seem to be being ignored.  Your controller, a large plastic table, is your only means for getting some attention.  You can pound the table, rattling things around and temporarily getting the attention of whoever may be in the room.  Finally though, once you’ve had enough of them continually going back to whatever they were doing and not paying attention to YOU, you can literally flip the table over, sending everything flying.  It’s silly and fun, but apparently it’s a great stress reliever…but only if you live in Japan unfortunately.

2.  Mister Mosquito (PS2)

Mister Mosquito is a game wherein you play as…you guessed it…a mosquito.  Your job is to suck as much blood as you can so that you can survive the winter.  To do this you must follow members of the family whose house you live in around and suck the blood from them without getting noticed.  Suck too slow or too fast and they’ll swat you.  There is even a stage where you suck blood from the breast of a woman taking a bath.  Sigh.

1.  Seaman (Dreamcast)

Ever had sea monkeys, well Seaman is kind of like that, only digital…and really freaking weird.  I feel like the best way to describe this game is with some rapid fire facts.  You nurture an evolving sea creature with a human face.  You use voice commands to interact with it.  The creature spouts insults at you randomly.  The game is voiced by Leonard Nimoy.  I’m truly at a loss for words.